What did I do this year to help in my growth as a man? What lives did I change this year? What things do I regret having done and have learned to not repeat? What do I do now? Along with a million other questions I wonder where I am going?
These questions are the very essence of who I am these days. I am constantly evaluating what I am and who I am. I do not necessarily think it's the most healthy outlook, but it is reality for me right now. I have prayed and prayed about how to break free from this and I believe that in time God is going to just show me how, because any attempt of my own has been in vain.
Getting ready to step into a new phase of life I am encountered with the cold truth that the world is not far away, and I am about to go out into it for the rest of my existence. No longer will I be able to "come home" and take a break from work or college. I will be in the place to which I end up and there I will stay. Now that place could and will change as God sees fit. This I am sure of.
Japan was amazing. I would love to go back, there is apart of me that believes I am not done being there. I would love to meet a woman soon or I guess whenever. Marriage has always been something I want to work through and for, but I know it is best with God's timing. I know that God does have these things taken care of and will continue to guide me, but it's so hard to see that in my human mind. I thank God for the great parents, family and friends He has blessed me with. I am truly undeserving. I feel like I have big shoes to fill because of all of this blessing.
God my prayer is that you would continually reveal yourself to me; continue to show me the way you would have me go. Guide me in my every step. Help me to show love to others, especially the ones who have hurt me. I thank you for your grace and love.
Amen...
-Kris-
