Life in Indiana

Well...

I basically had one of the most thought provoking weekends ever!

Into the night saturday I was hanging with the peeps from burg, and my best friend Bruce. I realized that I wasn't sure what I was thinking about but I got to the topic of why I came to Huntington University. I look into the matter further and realize that yes coming to this school was definitely what I felt was the most beneficial step for me to take, in numerous ways. Why is it extremely uncomfortable to attend this school at some points? Well I think growing comes in many shapes and sizes...

Lately I have felt as though my life has been thrown into a washing machine. Twisting turning, cleaning out the goop that is within the very fibers of my being. I have never felt that I was medically depressed but for some reason coming back to school this week I feel that way, I'm not quite sure why... I have nothing to be depressed about, my life is good. Yea its been a while since I could say that but lately it feels really good, things are going well. I have a ton of homework tonight and this blog post in and of itself may be a tangible form of procrastination, but I have no reason to be down.

Now I look back at this message and see that yes I have gained ground with my emotional state, but my state of explanation and reasoning of these feelings is still as lost as ever. In the core of me I see a path with blanks, all over the place. I know what I want and desire most, but its as if I am looking at these things through glass and I can't touch them. I can just sit and look, or I can get up and do something about it to prepare myself for the future ahead. I am at a loss for words when thinking of a description.

I have to look at those who love and care, to remind me of why I am here. I know that all of this will not be done in vain. GOd will provide. I trust in Him with all I have. Yes I don't understand, and at sometimes get super pissed at the direction He takes me. But at the end of the day I know that He knows what's best for me and is the only person who's been there for me since the beginning... Thank you, you know who you all are :)

-Kris-