A new year, and... a final year.

Fall 2011,

When I thought about what I'd be doing this fall fours years ago, I sure as heck thought I would be graduated and teaching math. But, now, I'm studying history, getting ready to take the LSAT, and hopefully going to law school in the fall of 2012. Not only has this year had it's ups and downs, growth and hindrance, but it's had its astoundingly joyous moments. I proposed to Kaitlyn Mullin on July 10th of this year 2011. When she said yes, she made me the happiest man in the world, at least as far as I know :). God has been so good to us, and I can't wait to see what He has for us in the future.

On top of this, I've realized that this year is crucial for our success as a family one day. This year, I'm going to work to make sure I don't waste my time. I will enjoy my last year in college as well as making it worth every minute. I want to ensure that I continue to grow towards the man of God He would want me to be, as well as growing my mind into a fierce machine of logical argumentation. I have really dug into life and what it means to be human lately. I've been frustrated, exhilarated, over-stimulated, and contemplative. It's been an intense process. At the end of the day I'm thankful for the questions that have been answered as well as the new ones come about.

I'm excited for this year, and I can't wait to start posting more again. Sorry it's been a while to anyone following. Thanks

-Kris-

June 2011

It's been a while since my last entry...

So I'll start this one by saying welcome.  It's good to be writing again.  Today I sit here with many hours passed, many minutes of Law and Order SVU watched, more LSAT studied, and music played.  I work barely ever, but I'm really enjoying my law internship.  This summer is crazy busy and may be getting busier.  Things are looking up for various areas of my life, some of which I can't disclose until after a certain thing happens - because I don't want some beautiful redhead named Kait do know what I'm up to ;).  I've really gained some helpful experience.

My law internship has helped me realize that their is hope for America's system of law.  I before believed that the system was flawed and in desperate need of renovation.  But after a few short weeks observing at the law firm I've realized that it really works to the benefit of all citizens.  The law is truly designed to presume innocence until guilt is proven beyond reasonable doubt.  What is reasonable doubt one may ask?  Well typically that is the issue, how to truly convince a jury beyond a certain point, reasonable doubt, that a defendant is in fact guilty.  I honestly find the side of the prosecution to be more drawing, or at least I want to maybe be a prosecutor one day, but who knows right?

Working at Abercrombie is great.  The only problem is the time I'm not working their, which is a lot.  I barely ever get hours, and I'm not complaining, it just sucks.  I need to be making more money if I'm going to be marrying a girl next year.  Above all, I know that God will provide so long as I keep trusting in Him to do so.

This was more or a less a "hey summer's-going-well blog entry."  I will try to post more, but for now this is it.  I hope all is well with you, the reader! God Bless

-Kris-

End of my 1st senior year...

Today,

I just returned to my room from chapel.  I am at a loss for words.  This year has gone by so fast.  I've been through a lot.  I have really changed a lot since August 2010.  For the first time ever I'm actually working at being a "good" student.  I'm getting grades that I probably should have been getting all the time.  I'm working through issues in my faith and relationship with Christ.  I'm really engaging in this world and digging in to my soul - to figure out what God has for me in this life.  I'm completely, and utterly blown away at how amazing of a relationship I have with Kaitlyn.  She's truly a beautiful person, and my best friend.  No other person in the world knows me like she does and yet she loves me the same.  It feels great to be loved like that.  What it has made me realize is how much more God love us.  If we experience genuine love from another person, and they are just a person, imagine, just try, to grasp how much God, our creator, loves us.  It boggles my mind.  Granted, I'm not your typical Christian, but who is.  I sin with the best of them.  I screw up all the time, but I'm doing my best with what God gave me. 

One of the things I want to emphasize is how much I am growing a passion for the broken and downtrodden in this world.  Why?  Because I once was one of them, even since being a Christian, I would say that at times I could totally have been considered desolate.  There have been days, even sometimes lately, where I feel totally and utterly depraved.  I find comfort in the fact that I have an amazing woman to love, who happens to love me.  Then, I also find peace in the fact that I have a God whose love I really cannot even comprehend.  Mind-altering, life-shaping, love.  God = Love, and according to Rob Bell (Love Wins) :).  But for real, I agree with him.  Love does win.  At the end of the day it's the only thing that can overcome all obstacles, because it's a choice, a painful choice where we have to sacrifice our needs and wants.  Love is uncomfortable, hard, not appealing to the faint of heart, and no one should mistaken true love with the feelings of infatuation.  Interestingly enough I feel like we can relate our relationships with God like a marriage - or at least a committed marriage, not one with a prenup.

God does say we are Christ's bride in the Bible.  To me, that sounds like a marriage.  In a marriage, one make s life-long commitment.  Life-long!!!! Like till death do us part life-long?  Yes.  I believe the commitments to Christ and a spouse are the same, granted with Christ, once you give your life to him, you are given everlasting life, so your commitment is eternal.  Is that why Christianity and following Christ is hard?  Of course.  Christ is our spouse.  The troubles in marriage should also appear in a committed relationship with our Lord, right?  I believe it's the truth.  How else would one explain some of the difficulties, the doubt, the not always wanting to serve Christ every morning.  It sounds the same as a marriage to me.  This has been something on my mind lately, and I just figured I'd share.  The benefit of this, is that Christ, unlike modern American culture, will not ever, ever divorce us.  He will stick with us no matter how awful we are.  That's great news!  The crazy thing is: that's how we are supposed to commit to our spouses (or in my case future spouse).  It's not impossible to work through a commitment like that.  But, without God, I would say it approaches the limits of human capabilities.  Billy Graham's wife Ruth was quoted saying once, after being asked if she'd ever considered divorce "Divorce? No... Murder? Yes..."  Now she never murdered Mr. Graham, but it goes to show the nature of a commitment like marriage.  Till death do us part, means TILL DEATH!

So, be encouraged that when we face difficult times in our walks with Christ, it's normal, just like difficulties are normal with a marriage.  God Bless all, thanks

-Kris-

Crazy times... one more year before reality...

Today, I turned in the second of my three big papers for the semester.  Boy did it feel good.  I feel progress happening to me, and that is a new feeling - well I guess it's sort of new.  This semester has seen its ups and downs.  I've lost friends, gained friends, hurt people, made up with others, worked hard, slacked off... the usual semester right?  Well, what I've come to realize is: this life is really short.  I'm so bad at worrying about what tomorrow brings or what next week looks like, that I miss out on today.  I need to get my life straight, and by that I mean just organized.  I've started to really align my priorities, but I haven't managed to line up my time management with those priorities.  I see what I want to accomplish, but I can't reach it because I keep blurring my path with unnecessary worry and disorganization.  This summer, I am going to get organized, simplify my life, and work toward saving some more money so I can buy a ring for a certain special girl. ;)



That's right, I asked Kait's dad this past weekend if I could ask her to marry me.  :) I'm so so so so excited.  I have really really found what I've been praying for in her.  She is the most amazing woman I've ever come in contact with.  Most days I wake up and can't believe that she's dating me.  Our relationship truly is awesome, because we are best friends at heart. I love her so so so much and can't wait to begin our life together.  It was definitely the best Easter ever, in my lifetime that is, because I'd say the best one was the first one. :)  So I just wanted to update.  I'm tired of typing today, so I'm gonna end this entry early.  God Bless everyone

-Kris-

#Love #Wins

Today, April 16, 2011


I literally just finished Rob Bell's new book Love Wins.  My thoughts?  Well... I thoroughly enjoyed it.  This work offers light to a perspective that I feel all Christians can at least open an ear to.  I know it's done one thing, and that is make me want to go through the New Testament again - specifically the Gospel.  I just can't get over how refreshing it is to read something like that.  I mean, granted, I was on my guard a bit because of all I've heard.  "Rob Bell is a Universalist," "Rob Bell is way off," "Rob Bell took one step too far over the edge this time."  All those things sound exactly like America's religious culture not even 200 years ago.  People in Christianity, well... not even just people but prominent leaders, the Billy Graham's, Martin Luther's, John Wesley's, etc, were radically passionate about pursuing God.  This set them apart.  This made them - as DC Talk likes to say - "Jesus Freaks."  On that same note, a lot of men and women like those mentioned were rejected by many, or at least what they were preaching.  Random fact related to this topic ( I guess it's not random), but did you know that the idea of premillennialism (the idea that man is currently living in the time before Christ's second coming and that all Christians will be taken to heaven in the rapture before the tribulation - if you aren't sure what I'm talking about just look up premillennialism on wikipedia) didn't become widely recognized as orthodox until at least the 1800's?  I know that I had no clue until the other day in my American Religious History class - which by the way is my favorite class in college EVER!  Also I forget the name of the belief that premillennialism stemmed from and I will post it as soon as I talk to Dr. Webb on Monday. 

The only reason I bring that up is to show that such a strong belief - at least held in evangelical circles - was concreted within the last 100-150 years.  That is not that long in the context of Christianity.  Christ died almost 2000 years ago.  That means that this belief has been considered orthodox by some Christian groups for not even 10% of the time since Christ's death.  I don't know about you but that is quite peculiar.  Anyways back to Rob Bell.  The reason I brought all this up is that there have been people like him, with views conflicting orthodox belief, for centuries.  It's what has made theology more refined.  I believe that a lot can be applied to any Christians life from Love Wins. For instance the idea that the kingdom of heaven is here... NOW!!! What do I mean by that? Well, we as Christians have an opportunity to serve others around us, make the world a better place, think about others and this world more than ourselves.  If we live like the Kingdom of Heaven is here now, we will work to improve this world and treat suffering with love and care.  Give food to the starving.  Shelter the homeless, etc.  I'm not saying to sell everything you own and go be Shane Claiborne (again if you don't know him, look him up, he's huge on this stuff), but if we just make the effort to look around, observe what around us needs our love, and see to serving that need, this world will start to really look more like the Kingdom.  On the other hand, what Bell says in his book, if we live like we are just waiting for the next world or just working towards ensuring our ticket to heaven is valid, we will miss out on what Christ wants us to accomplish while we still have breath.

At the end of the day I would rate Bell's book an 8/10.  It could have had more substance, but it was a good quick read.  Very insightful and extremely relevant to contemporary Christian culture.  I would recommend it to any Christian.  My only advice would be to not just take everything he says for truth.  Because, the only truth, comes from God.

Hope this post was helpful, God Bless

-Kris-

April = Great Weather? Right? Eh? Not Really?

April has brought a lot along with it.  I am now to the point where I really cannot waste one hour on being unproductive, or at least it feels that way.  Finding the motivation to do work is hard at times but it helps to have my pictures of Kait and I on my desk to remind me what part of the objective is.  I know that school can really suck.  I have to get STRAIGHT A's this semester.  I've never shot for straight A's.  I think I've achieved them once throughout school, it was my sophomore year and high school and I thought it was a fluke.  What I'm saying here is that this is new.  I've never been a GREAT student.  I've gotten by. I've put in my time to get to the next level and seem like I knew what I was doing, but I've never reached my full potential.  I always let things get in the way.  I do so much, or at least I've done so much.  I constantly think what else could I be doing, instead of looking at the task in front of me.  Or at least that's how I've been most of my life.

This year, specifically these last few weeks have really challenged that part of me.  I am looking forward at a life full of joy, family, God-filled life, and work; lots of work.  But that is only for the next four years.  I am going to Law School.  Ideally, I'd like to go to the University of Cincinnati, but I will settle for where I get the most money - probably at least.  In the moments like now, where I'm in my room cranking away at a paper, I find that I still have a lot of growing.  I will sit here, type, think, retype what I just typed because I didn't like it, check facebook, check twitter, look at what I typed, sit, think, etc.  It's a vicious cycle of procrastinative tendencies (yea I don't think that's a word but whatever).  I'm breaking them, slowly but surely.  It's painful to rework and rewire your brain.  Right now I have four songs from movie/TV show soundtracks, playing on shuffle repeat until I can't take it anymore.  All four songs are inspirational and moving.  They bring feelings of "Yea, I can do this!" - which by the way are the exact feelings I need to have right now.

Things with Kaitlyn are fantastic.  Again I could not have asked for a better woman in my life.  Granted I know that there are posts in here about other women.  I recognize that.  But, God has brought the perfect piece of life's puzzle to me.  Katie is the epitome of what I've been looking for in a future wife.  She cares for me, earnestly, and fervently with love that I can feel.  She puts up with me being a complete @$$hole sometimes.  She loves the Lord, and desires to serve him with her life.  The list could go on, but above all she makes me want to be a better man.  I have no doubt that her coming into my life almost three years ago was divine intervention.  Yes, we both had to make choices and follow through with various things to get us to the here and now, but God had a part to play.  He crafted her with some of the best parts of his divine character.  I just look forward to a great, great future with her in which we'll be pursuing a life and a family firmly set upon God's love.

All in all, I'm in the midst of a battle for motivation.  I have about 80-82 pages left to write.  I better get crackin.  God Bless, and I hope you enjoyed this post.

-Kris-

Marching Close...

As March comes to an end I have but a few thoughts to share,

This month was one of the greatest in the history of my life. I got to spend half of it with a woman who has already changed my life forever, for good, for the best, in the most positive ways one human being can change another. Kaitlyn Mullin, my girlfriend, is the most amazing person I've come across, and have had the pleasure of knowing and growing fond of. I love her more than I can describe in man made words. The words that would properly describe my feelings for her are probably not of this world. She just simply amazes me more every day as I perpetually fall more in love with her every minute of every day.

Also,
This month has made me realize something crucial. I have thought previously that I needed to do some growing up. But, this month, or with the closing of this month, I've realized that I have more to learn and grow than ever before. With my assignments for school rearing their ugly faces I also face getting a job, getting an internship, finalizing things with a band, starting a new chapter of social interaction - my circle of friends is altering significantly for the third time in three years (I think that's correct, maybe two times, either way more than I'd like), as well as looking ahead at financially, emotionally, spiritually, physically, and mentally preparing for a marriage. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! At the beginning of this last school year I thought I was going to just more or less coast and put most of my efforts at being in a band. I gave it my all, and I felt like it was going to maybe actually be what I wanted - even though I would have only been kidding myself to not know that I really have always, ALWAYS wanted a beautiful, loving wife more than anything else in this life - but that wasn't enough.

I didn't feel like I was being realistic. When I left TAHBI, or was asked to leave TAHBI, I realized that the band was not what I really wanted out of life, more specifically, my life during and closely after college. I think my leaving has brought new inspiration to the other members - good for them - but I am left with a lack of support on the home front until Kait is back home. I realize that It's OK and that it's how things happen sometimes. THINGS CHANGE, PLANS CHANGE, and it is OK. So now... I'm looking at a whole new set of options, or a whole new direction; a direction that I happen to really find appealing.

I want to be the man of God that He wants me to be. For that to happen, this growth must occur. The first step has been realizing that. Ok whew, now that that's over... what do I do now???? Who knows honestly? I know a few things. I love Jesus, I love Kaitlyn Mullin, I'm going to law school - first I guess I'm studying for the LSAT - after I graduate, I'm getting married hopefully before I go to law school, I want to play music - for God - for the rest of my life in some capacity, and that's about all I know... oh and I'm the founding president of the new Pre-Law Society at Huntington University - sounds pretty cool I guess :). These things I know... I will just keep going I guess. For now it's time for bed. Tomorrow: a new day, awaiting my progress toward growth and refinement through fire.

Much Love and Blessings to all!

-Kris-

P.S. if you don't know the pic is my amazing girlfriend! :)

End and Beginning... of books!

Today, in a few minutes, I am going to begin reading Rob Bell's "Love Wins". I'm really excited to embark on this journey because of all the surrounding criticism. Most of the people that criticized the book had not even read it yet. I am a firm believer - in most cases - that we should not knock something unless we try it (a case where this wouldn't apply is like for instance with murder... not a great idea to try that one out).

I finished Donald Miller's "Blue Like Jazz" last night and boy was it amazing. One of the most refreshing reads I've experienced in a while - almost as refreshing as the Bible. The main principles reinforced how important love truly is to the equation of life and all that Christ calls us to be while we're living our various parts of life. Love will save people, or it will at least set the foundation to where they will be open to salvation. Yes of course people turn to God out of desperate circumstances, but in general, from what Donald Miller says in "Blue Like Jazz", people respond and listen to those whom they believe actually care about who they are.

It's in these modern times with the ever growing technology that someone like me worries - funny coming from a blogger - about the disconnect that comes from the use of things like social networking. "How many facebook friends do we have?" How about instead "How many times have you cried or let someone cry to you about the crappy situations they or you are encountering?" Facebook is great in a lot of ways don't get me wrong. My family can keep up with what's going on while I'm away at college. But we can't let technology determine our involvement or engaging in relationships. We can't let technology - or other distractions for that matter - take us out of being the social people God designed us to be. Now that's not to say that introverts need to make a million friends, but it means that we all need to engage socially on an intimate level with someone. That could be one or thirty people, that's between you and I and ourselves.

So with all that said, I learned a lot or was at least enlightened to what I need to work on after reading "Blue Like Jazz". Now I'm looking forward to Love Wins. More later

-Kris-

Like An Avalanche

It was March 3rd...

Kait came into town, it was awesome! :) Then we spent a great weekend at my parent's houses and came back today - well yesterday at this point lol - and went to church. I realize more and more everyday how blessed I am. It helps when I have feelings of overcoming self-doubt. I yearn to be rid of these imperfections in my soul. It really gets tiring doubting yourself all the time. The good news is that I as well as we all shall press on. We'll press on until there's nothing left to bleed or feel. God has purposefully and wonderfully shown up in my life in various ways. I can't thank Him enough for what He's done. In the midst of difficulty even though I may feel alone, at the end of day when I lay my head to rest, I know that He's there. I could be in a gutter or a queen-sized bed, He'd be there with me, holding me close. That's how I feel, and what I believe. Even though I don't always recognize it, my faith is enduring. No matter what I hear and read, it all typically sharpens my understanding of who God is, sometimes it challenges, but again at the end of the day I always know He's there.

I personally have been working through some tough stuff lately. Thanks be to God for Kait and her willingness to listen. She is such a huge help when I need to vent thoughts about faith, love, and God. I have been challenged of late, by what and who the church, of Christ, is supposed to be.

Why O why is there even a wonder? Shouldn't the church have been set off on the right path from the get go. It's almost (not the carbon copy of, but similar to) like the United States Constitution - the Bible that is. Let me clarify, I'm a firm believer that the United States was never ever intended to be a Christian nation, I'm strictly comparing these two writings from a documentary analysis standpoint. Firstly, I want to say I believe the Bible, overall, is much more direct and specific than the Constitution. The similarity I would like to stress is the division in followers.

Division. It's unavoidable when you are talking about large groups of people all trying to follow the same direction. Does that make the variety of directions blatantly wrong, leaving merely a right and wrong path? No... Of course it doesn't. God gave us His word to guide, not to put us in a mold that is a strict, legalistic, non-wavering Christian life. He did say the road is narrow. He did say that few will enter. What is a few? Right now there are six billion people on the earth. 1% of 6 billion is 10 million. I would personally say that that's closer to none than a few. My point being is that I think a lot more people are on the right path than what most Christians give them credit for. Also to clarify, I think that going the opposite direction is obviously blatantly wrong. Example: You start in New York, you want to travel to San Fransisco, you can't keep going south to get there, better yet, you couldn't fly out into space in a 180 degree direction from earth and get there. Yes this next part may be harsh, but it's what I believe. There is only ONE way to eternal life - according to what I know to be true and what I believe - and that is through Jesus Christ. The argument and point I'm trying to make is that, there isn't just one way to get to Him. Why do we have denominations if there is? Why did the Catholic church - the ORIGINAL church - split if there was only one way to Christ?

These are some thoughts I've been working through. Take them for what they are, I want to eventually conceptualize all this into something more concrete but for now, it's going to be an informal blog post. So yea... lol

Enjoy
God Bless
-Kris-

A Day in the Life Of

So... today, this weekend, the last few days... have been pretty unproductive.

I'm so ready for Thursday. That day means I will be able to drive my amazing girlfriend to my house for the weekend and get to visit with my family. I am so in need of a time away I can taste it. These days have been so rough. Not for any reason any other than I just am hurting with a missing feeling. I've not longed for something like this, maybe ever?

The crazy part is that, this feeling I have... I believe is the pain that God feels for us everyday when we aren't paying attention to Him (not saying that Kait isn't paying attention to me, don't get me wrong she's awesome :)). But what I do mean, is me and Kait are physically apart by ten hours and 500 miles. When we are apart from God, it pains Him... As it does us when we are apart from those we love. No one could be doing anything wrong at all, and it will still hurt like hell.

I love Kait and I know that she loves me, but damn... it still hurts like crazy to be away from her. This week I have to manage to get a ton done and not get distracted with my feelings - that's been extremely hard lately, but I know, with God's help, I can do it!

Anyways, just some food for thought.

God Bless

-Kris-

PS btw... Kait is an amazing woman as well as an awesome girlfriend, this post was not saying that I'm worried about how she feels about me. It probably doesn't need to be said, but i wanted to clarify. Cause... She's AMAZING!!!! In every way. So yea... don't doubt it! :)

Great Strides in Faith n' Such

Today, while I was cleaning up after a workout, I was pondering to myself about life. I was wondering why I've been so down, insignificant, unworthy, selfish, horrible, (add any other adjective representative of loneliness and self pity and you got it)? I came to thinking that I should pray. I was actually praying while I was running earlier, but I hadn't felt like I had gotten anywhere.

Today, plans had changed with various things regarding Spring Break, and it sucks. I just want Kait to be home so I can see her. I just want to be done with undergraduate studies. I just want to be with my friends from Evangel (no offense to people at HU, i'm just idk having withdraws). I just want to be done with all the shit that I feel like barrages me on a daily basis. "DAMMIT, why does life have to be so hard?" So in utter frustration, singing #BreakingBenjamin in the shower, I came to a Revelation. My mind can be altered by God, or in this case what I feel like He gave me for thought.

So... with that I started to think through how I was feeling, and how the majority of the feelings were understandable, but unnecessary to get all upset about. I live ten hours away from my girlfriend, so what? I love her. I knew that getting into this relationship that there would be trials and difficulties. I want to marry her one day and I'm not going to let a little loneliness and self pity ruin what little time I have to talk to her.

Yes I'm not apart of the band anymore, big whup! I still can play guitar. I still can rock out for God. I still can write music. It's not the end of the world. I still have the friendships even if I'm not included in the band discussions. Again another selfish, self-pity complaint of mine. Worthless for anything, just a waste of thought and air.

These were two big examples. A good friend of mine on the worship team I play on told me that he felt "The enemy was hitting members of the team hard because good things were happening at church." I have heard that a million times, and I don't deny there's truth to it, but today, the truth of it hit me in the face. I was taken aback by the sheer truth that was amidst the words of encouragement he shared with me this week.

Then finally back to the prayer during the song "Until The End". I believe... honestly... ok I thought about this, and I do know in my heart, that this thought I'm about to share was from God. I can try to discredit Him all day, and let the enemy have another victory, but not this time. The reason I know is I've been in such a crappy mood today that I wouldn't have thought of this. But God revealed to me, that I can change this thought process. I CAN THINK POSITIVE. He's given me so much. I have so much to be thankful for.

I am going to school and studying what I love. I am in love with one His most beautiful creations: Kait Mullin :). I am a gifted guitarist. I am becoming a more gifted song-writer. I have a loving family, and some pretty damn good friends. EFF YOU SATAN! I will not be down on myself (for now, I might lapse into a state of self-pity again, that's how the cycle seems to go). I may at another time be put back, but for now, I will stand in His freedom in JESUS NAME. I feel like I can conquer anything because God has freed me from my self-doubt. I will praise Him who has set me free.

God, Thank You SO MUCH!


-Kristopher-

It's just one of those days...

Today, some serious stuff happened. My life will be forever changed. I'm not going to go into detail, but I want to talk through some things I've been thinking. In the midst of indecision, confusion, pain, uncertainty, and a desire to have an objective, I've found myself letting go of something I once held dear. I still love the group of people, want to be friends, and want to enjoy their company, but I can't help thinking that I may possibly be the biggest douche in the world. Did I lead them on? Who will ever know? I know it wasn't my intention to hurt. Life has been happening to me a bit fast, and I'm extremely thankful for the opportunities that have been presented. It's been a great ride, but it's time for me to grow up.

I'm looking at Law School, I'm looking to get married, I'm looking to be a provider for a family. I cannot put time into something that will hinder the development of that, even if it has been one of the greatest sources of joy I've ever experienced. This sucks, I can't stand it, but I can't do anything about it. EFF. (*$&(@*#$&*(@#$&@#)(*$&@#)($*&@#$()*&@#$ @&#^$*&@#^$*&@#^$*&@#^$*&@#^$*&@#^$*&@#$^@*#&$^ #@*&$^@#*&$^@#*&$^@#$*&@^#$

-That's what I want to say right now, really loud so everyone can hear me-

But I will refrain. So... pray... pray some more... and if you think of it, pray that God would tend to my possibly self-inflicted wounds. Thanks

-Kris-

Sunday Bloody Sunday...

Heard this version of Sunday Bloody Sunday today, and I couldn't pass up posting it!!!!

This is Vitamin Dub's Dub Tribute to U2, Sunday Bloody Sunday

Enjoy

-Kris

Crunchin Time...

Today, I watched like four episodes of Battlestar Galactica. It's a great show. I can't seem to stay motivated to do school work for the life of me. I have gotten some other things done, but man I try to crack open a book and it's worthless. My weekdays have grown immensely with productivity, but the weekends still lack any motivation.

I could really use some advice as to how to jump start some desire to kick some tail and work hard... If anyone has any ideas, please enlighten me. I am all ears.

Now i'm already running out of things to talk about. Oh and I really really miss my amazing girlfriend who is 10 hours away, and who I won't get to see until Valentine's Day. I hope she loves my present. I'm pretty excited for her to get it.

Anyways... yea that's it for now.

-Burge-

On the brink...

Today...

I was going to get up earlier. I was going to work harder. I was going to not worry. I was going to not get all worked up. I was going to do better.

I set out everyday in my attempt to do better, in whose eyes? My own? Well by that standard it's like i'm never good enough. I've never accomplished enough. Ok so look to God's standards. God have I accomplished enough? That's funny, I don't hear a response... That's typical with me though. I really struggle hearing from God. I have never quite known what people mean when they say they've heard from God. Does He audibly speak to them, write them a note, strike lightning in their front yard, or light a bush on fire? I don't get it... AT ALL! Why do I have to continually feel inadequate, especially when I have so much going for me. It's like I truly can't do enough. I can't be good enough. What in the hell makes me feel this way? I know that I am doing a lot of things that God is pleased with, I know that it looks like I'm working hard to a lot of people, but it's like I know that I can do better. I know that I can work harder. Stress is more than it's ever been. I think about things I've worried about in the past and laugh, because if, if I could just worry about that stuff now. Life is far more worrisome, the older I get.

Since almost everyone knows now - haha - I might as well say it. I have found what I've been looking for. Yes I've thought in the past I had found it. But now I know. God has been so gracious in bringing me together with a beautiful woman who loves me for me. I know beyond the shadow of doubt that she is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. With that said though... back to what I was saying

It's because of that and other things that I want to be better, but I perpetually place myself under monumental stress and it never goes away! WHY??!?!?!?!!! I'm turning into my father I feel like, and I do not want to be a workaholic. I want to be a family man, a good husband, a good father. I want to be the man God has created me to be, but I feel like I could just curl up into a ball and cry some days. There is way too much going on in my life to handle I feel like. But almost everything is essential...

Idk what to do, anyways, if you read this pray for me. Thank you!

-Kris-

Sarcasm...

Honestly, who invented it?

I mean of course a man did, but seriously what wiseguy decided it would be funny to say things that he didn't mean? I wish that it wasn't a part of every day communication in America. Why can't we just say what we mean and mean what we say? We don't have to use sarcasm with everything we say, and we don't have to constantly belittle each other. Why is it the norm? Who said it was the way we should interact as Americans. I really don't understand it. It floods through every college campus in America, as well as being the way parents communicate to their children. That is not how it should be. Especially amongst Christians. Yea I know it sounds a bit conservative coming from me, but I'm serious. We should not be raising kids to be sarcastic. Sarcasm is not BIBLICAL. Again, also not saying that anything not explicitly allowed in the Bible should be outlawed, but seriously. I really don't think that God wants us to belittle or demean each other. I believe it is Ephesians 4

Verse 20

²⁰ That, however, is not the way of life you learned ²¹ when you heard about Christ and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. ²² You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; ²³ to be made new in the attitude of your minds; ²⁴ and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

²⁵ Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. ²⁶ “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, ²⁷ and do not give the devil a foothold. ²⁸ Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need.

²⁹ Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. ³⁰ And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. ³¹ Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. ³² Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Specifically 29-32... Now yes, I do swear, definitely more than I should. I need to work on that, but seriously I think this talks as much about swearing as it does sarcasm.

My challenge to anyone reading this. Think about what we say and how we interact with others. Is being sarcastic truly loving? Think about how we could better serve our fellow man or woman.

That is all~

-Kris

J-Term... :)

So I didn't take a J-term. I decided that it wasn't necessary so I took the alternative of chilling and getting a few things done between TAHBI and life. Currently watching the Steelers make a comeback on the Ravens. I am really wanting to have a productive week. My thoughts are extremly random right now, and I have found that blogging lately has been that way. I haven't managed to keep a good focus while writing an entry in a while. I just find myself distracted, which honestly I think is letting me know that I may need to really work on being more in the now and now become so distracted. Just a short entry, because i'm partially distracted with the fact that the Steelers are making a comeback! :)


-Adios
Kris-

New Years...

Here it is again...

That time of year where you begin to think about all the things you could have done better, all the things you want to do next year, and what you will commit to as a "New Year's Resolution". We all really enjoy a new start. Every year we get to start over, every year we get to let go of the past 365 days, and sometimes it doesn't even last a month or two. We make these promises and tell ourselves that we are going to and make a good effort to change and yet find that we make the same mistakes over and over again not far from our promise. Now there are many sermons and self-help books written on how to make impacting, long-lasting change at New Year's, but who reads those? Besides most of them are probably just cranked out to try and make an extra buck this time a year.

For me I see it as a new chance to Love people. I really believe that I can make an honest attempt with the help of my close friends and family, to really try to be more selfless in general. Yes it sounds a bit like a New Year's resolution, because it kind of is. So that is what I am doing for New Year's.

For today, I am going to spend the day with my awesome girlfriend. Katie and I are going to the mall to look at stuff and buy a blender. I need a blender because I am going to commit to the clean cleanse. It's a program by Dr. Alejandro Junger. It's about flushing your body of the toxins that get into it through eating like a normal American. I am guilty as anybody, I love food! But this year or at least the beginning of the year, I'm going to literally die to my desires to have whatever I want with food. Katie is thankfully going to support me through this, cause I definitely need some help. So yea, hopefully I can handle it while all the guys on my floor are cooking their amazing food lol. Ugh. Hopefully I can make it through. I know I can if I put my mind to it.

So anyways, Happy New Year's and God Bless

-Kris-