End of October 2009=crazy!

So basically...

What a month October has been, lots of ups, and definitely a few downs, but overall I praise God yet again for another month living for Him.

I've gotten to know some more people, drawn close to some, lost touch as well as gone seperate ways with others. I know that there is a reason for everything, and I do mean everything...

I am currently a secondary math education major, and feel really good about that, but I'm not quite sure how I am going to get through the remainder of the classes I have. They are very difficult and starting to rack my brain, yet when I go into the high school I feel very much at home. Its like I am going through a grinder so I can sit in a pool of jello. Why do we have to do these insanely complex things to prepare us for what lies ahead. There is a verse that really reminds me of this principle and idea of getting through to the other side so I will be better prepared...

James 1:2-4

² Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. ⁴Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

This reminds me that I am to keep on keepin on, as hard as it may be. I will persevere and depend on God for strength. He's been with me this far, why would he leave now...

-Kris-

Another day another blog :)

Hello everyone,

I am sitting in my dorm room, preparing for sleep time, and I come to find out that I have homework due that isn't due until one, I will have a 45 min window tomorrow to get it done. I hope that I will make it worth it.

Life lately has been great, just got back from a mission's trip to Benton Harbor Michigan, helped out Habitat for Humanity. We helped put together some houses. It was so refreshing to get away from my life and problems for a little while. I think we can all use times like that to get away and just serve other people. Blessing others helps generate a will to continue serving the Lord. To see how much people are grateful, and to know how much we mean to them its just refreshing. I didn't go for selfish gain, I truly did want to help and serve, yet I was blessed by their blessing. God is so good like that

To another area of my life. Romantically I am officially just going with the flow. I am finally over my whole previous phase. I have learned a lot, and look forward to seeing what God has in store. I am also not searching, I am going to meet people, get myself out there and experience the world while God has me in this phase of singleness. I know that I am not called to be single forever, there is no way I could handle it, and I have always wanted a family. So until the day comes I am open to what He has for me.

Huntington has been great for me in so many ways and there are really three people who I can thank, God, my dad, and Abby Dilling. Although me and Abby are not communicating, she deserves as much credit as anyone, and no matter what happens I will always be grateful for having known her. Dad, without you I wouldn't be able to afford school Thank you!!! and God well I wouldn't even be here, let alone know what the heck to do if it weren't for you. Thanks again. Praise be to God for His love and direction

-Kris-

Politics in the world today...

Looking into the political spectrum, we find that there is an extreme tone bordering on hate.

Is it right? Should politicians keep pushing people to the edge of terrorism? I think we have to seriously consider our motives of speaking out in the political arena. America is not a country that condones terrorism. We never have since we became a country. Why do we then dance along the line of inciting such acts?

As Christians we are called to live in the world but not of it. Yet we immerse ourselves in the issues of the world. I am guilty of this just as much as the next person but I am wondering if we really need to focus our efforts elsewhere. Are we supposed to stay informed and yet not become attached in a way that would lead us to extremism for something other than Christ? Its a fascinating and very scary time for American Christians.

So the thought I want to leave us with is....

As Christians should we really fan the flame of the political bonfire with our opinions on the values we see as most valuable; should we simply stay informed and out of the hot seat and exemplify Christ with our lives; should we not concern ourselves with any sort of politics and begin not to vote all together etc...?

As we chew on these thoughts, let's be open to God and what He would have us do...

-Kris-

I know but...

So I know I have blogged a lot lately, but a lot has gone on...

Today I have decided that closure will be in the form of a letter. Hopefully it is accepted by the person I send it to, if not, they can't say I didn't try. I am so very sorry to have caused them any pain. I never intended to. I loved them, and truly cared for them. I hope and pray that they will continue to seek after God and His will for their life, but my part in their life is now officially over as far as I'm concerned. They don't want me in their life, so I will respect that. I may never understand why, but that doesn't matter anymore. I am done, and I am going to move on and learn from my mistakes.

Letters can be influential. I hope mine explains something. I hope that they can receive it and know that I never intended pain. I never wanted to pierce an exposed heart, or crush a trusting spirit, but the events that have taken place wouldn't have occurred unless I did something, so I apologize. I am who I am, who God has made me to be, I'm not perfect, but I do the best I can with what I have.

God knows my heart.

Thank you are all who have read, and prayed for me through this. I couldn't have made it without u all. Thank you for all who have listened to my pathetic self through the groveling and whining. I promise to be there for all of you when you need it most. I can't repay you enough. God Bless you all. Thanks again

-Kris-

Torment... of.... what?

Why do we feel so stressed somedays...

Today I feel as though my insides are going to explode. I hate when I feel this way... Only a few things have caused this in my lifetime, the reoccurring one of late is the main issue. I want to give up this situation to God, depend on Him for strength, but there is something inside me that won't let go... I want to be free of it and I just keep running back to it in my mind. Why do we let things grab hold of our conscious train of thought? Why do I hold onto things that hurt to keep in. Is it words of feelings that have been expressed? Attachment resulting from those words? Who really knows other than God about how our minds work. I don't think any one person can explain the current status of my emotional being, but I know that God can.

So what do I do? Well I move on and press through. This is an opportunity to really dig in and draw close to God. So that is what I am going to do. I pray that He provides a way for me to see the light at the end of tunnel until I make it out. I wish things could have played out different, but its too late for that now. I have to remember that He has my back. He knows what's best for me, maybe what I dwell on wasn't the best. I sure thought it was; but God knows best.

So with this post, I am going to seek to find closure on the situation. I hope to be able to come to grips with that concept in my mind. We will soon see if that is possible. God Bless and have a great day.

-Kris-

Good Afternoon Internet...

So.....

In light of events past I thought I'd change the subject or underlying tone of my blog posts today.

I'm in Huron Ohio, getting ready to go to Cleveland today. I haven't been to Cleveland in years. I grew up there, and I can't wait to drive through my neighborhood and see how its all been. I am really excited actually. Its really nice to get away from the stresses and problems that life lays before us. Going to the place where I grew up and didn't have all the issues that life throws at me today will be a refreshing experience.

With everything going on, I will continue to pray, because honestly none of it is in my power to control. People will be people, and I can't change that. So I will sit, wait and pray. Yes I will continue to live my life to best I can as God has called me to live it. Yes I will continue to push through the obstacles, because I know I have the best trainer in my corner.

I've had a great weekend so far catching up with a great friend. I look forward to going to Cleveland today. Like yea, im pretty stoked about it. So anyways...... I will post again soon, God Bless

-Kris-

Final line cut...

Yea...

So when you find out that something you've been holding onto is really being held in futility, is it safe to assume that you might want to let go?

Well heck yea it is. Yesterday I came to a realization through an interesting turn of events. I had a situation thrown in my face, and how did I react? Well i acted like I should have, I sat back and realized "its not about me" and in my mind cut this person off from my train of thought. I tried my best to just be myself and care, but no more will I worry myself with any thing having to do with this. God thank you for allowing the revelation to hit me as it did. Yea it hurt, real bad actually, but all is well. God you are awesome. I hope that you can continue to carry me through this as I am going to be dealing with some emotions surrounding the situation I'm for sure.

God I praise you, and thank you for what you have done and are going to continue to do through me and others.

I'm getting ready to go out of town for a night and a day, I can't wait to chill in Northern Ohio! woot woot!!

Yea its gonna be blast, and from what I know, I'm pretty sure someone else is extremely excited as well... :)

So yea, just know that if things come your way, take a step back and look at the even for what it really is. If need be, just remove it from your mind, its not an instant process, it takes time, but making the decision to start forgetting and removing material from your mind is huge. So be blessed and live with peace God Bless

-Kris-

October has arrived...

Hello,

So yea life has been life lately.

I have felt tons better about everything after having dropped my Abstract Algebra class. It was stressin me out hardcore, and I am so so glad I dropped it. I am really missing a certain someone, I wish I could at least communicate with them, or see how they are doing; maybe one day... I hope at least...

Other than that.... we won our championship game today in Powderpuff football, as a part of the Deatheaters coaching staff I am so proud of the girls who worked hard and fought to win today. Ryan great play calling, its an honor to work under you as a coach, and Jared u just rock in general brotha!

This year has been so far one of the most emotionally rollercoaster-y I've ever had in my entire life. Just with everything that has occurred and the things that continue to unfold and take place. I'm skeptical somedays as I turn every corner wondering if I'm going to get hit with another problem or learning experience. I know that GOd will provide a way through it all.

So yea I've also been writing some songs lately and I want to post them on here so I will probably do that sooner or later. So keep checkin the blog, thanks and God Bless

-Kris-