Friday, April 29, 2011

End of my 1st senior year...


I just returned to my room from chapel.  I am at a loss for words.  This year has gone by so fast.  I've been through a lot.  I have really changed a lot since August 2010.  For the first time ever I'm actually working at being a "good" student.  I'm getting grades that I probably should have been getting all the time.  I'm working through issues in my faith and relationship with Christ.  I'm really engaging in this world and digging in to my soul - to figure out what God has for me in this life.  I'm completely, and utterly blown away at how amazing of a relationship I have with Kaitlyn.  She's truly a beautiful person, and my best friend.  No other person in the world knows me like she does and yet she loves me the same.  It feels great to be loved like that.  What it has made me realize is how much more God love us.  If we experience genuine love from another person, and they are just a person, imagine, just try, to grasp how much God, our creator, loves us.  It boggles my mind.  Granted, I'm not your typical Christian, but who is.  I sin with the best of them.  I screw up all the time, but I'm doing my best with what God gave me. 

One of the things I want to emphasize is how much I am growing a passion for the broken and downtrodden in this world.  Why?  Because I once was one of them, even since being a Christian, I would say that at times I could totally have been considered desolate.  There have been days, even sometimes lately, where I feel totally and utterly depraved.  I find comfort in the fact that I have an amazing woman to love, who happens to love me.  Then, I also find peace in the fact that I have a God whose love I really cannot even comprehend.  Mind-altering, life-shaping, love.  God = Love, and according to Rob Bell (Love Wins) :).  But for real, I agree with him.  Love does win.  At the end of the day it's the only thing that can overcome all obstacles, because it's a choice, a painful choice where we have to sacrifice our needs and wants.  Love is uncomfortable, hard, not appealing to the faint of heart, and no one should mistaken true love with the feelings of infatuation.  Interestingly enough I feel like we can relate our relationships with God like a marriage - or at least a committed marriage, not one with a prenup.

God does say we are Christ's bride in the Bible.  To me, that sounds like a marriage.  In a marriage, one make s life-long commitment.  Life-long!!!! Like till death do us part life-long?  Yes.  I believe the commitments to Christ and a spouse are the same, granted with Christ, once you give your life to him, you are given everlasting life, so your commitment is eternal.  Is that why Christianity and following Christ is hard?  Of course.  Christ is our spouse.  The troubles in marriage should also appear in a committed relationship with our Lord, right?  I believe it's the truth.  How else would one explain some of the difficulties, the doubt, the not always wanting to serve Christ every morning.  It sounds the same as a marriage to me.  This has been something on my mind lately, and I just figured I'd share.  The benefit of this, is that Christ, unlike modern American culture, will not ever, ever divorce us.  He will stick with us no matter how awful we are.  That's great news!  The crazy thing is: that's how we are supposed to commit to our spouses (or in my case future spouse).  It's not impossible to work through a commitment like that.  But, without God, I would say it approaches the limits of human capabilities.  Billy Graham's wife Ruth was quoted saying once, after being asked if she'd ever considered divorce "Divorce? No... Murder? Yes..."  Now she never murdered Mr. Graham, but it goes to show the nature of a commitment like marriage.  Till death do us part, means TILL DEATH!

So, be encouraged that when we face difficult times in our walks with Christ, it's normal, just like difficulties are normal with a marriage.  God Bless all, thanks


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